I was mildly annoyed when I found out this was written because she was stressed about cleaning up after a house party she threw when her parents went out of town, but. Otherwise.
If this had been a cartoon and we had been birds, she would have been smaller than I was and I would, at that moment, have draped her with a comforting wing. I thought about trying to teach her to be a good cook, and about how she might be very taken with me if together we made meals that were better than the meals all the other girls were making. But then I thought, you know what? Who cares? I thought about my mother cursing at the ornery flour bag, and how, yes, I might be able to impress people with my cooking and teach Anna to do the same, but then I thought, perhaps we could just remove ourselves from all of that. What if we did our job, but didn’t worry about shining?
—Sarah Miller, "Why Cooking Sucks"
Nothing is like I expected it would be. I spend hours trying to remind myself it’s supposed to be that way. I also spend a lot of money on psychoanalysis. I stare at the cat, who wants me to make a nook she can cuddle in. I resolve to quit Twitter. I resolve to have a healthier relationship with Twitter. I resolve to spend the weekend reconsidering my writing style. I resolve to stop thinking that there’s anything wrong with my writing style because I’ve read a whole article about impostor syndrome and women and I have some fury to spend. Then I resolve to have more faith in myself and then I watch someone with too much faith in themselves go splat, the way they do nearly every day. And I think to myself, “Okay. But not like that.”
Lots of good people saying good things today. Michelle Dean is one of them.
If it seems too good to be true, it is. This applies to jobs and especially to loves. Complexities are human and necessary.
Your friends will let you down.
Make better friends.
No one is cool, not ever.
Possess your body.
Pleasure is true.
Your life is something that requires the present, not the future and certainly not the past.
Do what you need to do, but be conscious of those around you.
True self care is not selfish.
Move in action. Thought is an action. Thought is valid. You are valid.
Smell is an underrated sense. Take in those around you. Envelop their essence, cherish it, but remember yourself.
You are more than them.
You are you.
I love you.